Growing together

About two hours ago I put my baby to bed. In her own bed, in her own room. Tonight will be the first night that we sleep together in the same house but in different rooms. It will be the first night that I have to listen to the baby monitor to know when my monkey needs me. It will be the first time in many months that I can brush my teeth as loud as I want and read a few pages of my book in bed before turning off the light. The first time since the birth of the monkey that I do not need to crawl into bed in the dark.

I must confess, it is quite a big step. Subconsciously I have been pondering about taking the plunge, but I am surprised at myself for doing it tonight. It all seems a bit abrupt and sudden. I think that a part of me is scared that it will get more difficult if I leave it too long, and since we were 'out of routine' the past three nights (we spent the long weekend in the 'bush') tonight is as good a night as any.

But sitting here I am looking at the baby monitor with a heavy heart, knowing that this process of growing up will bring with it many more scary moments such as this.